Monday, March 22, 2010

Breakin' up

Dear C

I refuse to feel this way anymore. And I know I was warned, but I loved you anyway, not knowing how addicted I would be to you.

Look at me, look what your love has wrought. See my thin frame, my lifeless skin. Hear the erratic beat of my heart, the breathlessness in my voice. See me lie to cover for you. See me throwing away what little money I have on you.

Yes, I know you were always there for me. On cold winter nights, lazy summer days and stormy monsoon afternoons. You were there- all I had to do was stretch out my hand. But I know that wasn’t a privilege I was accorded exclusively. You were there for anyone who had money to spend on you.

And you came cheap, didn’t you?

But no, this wasn’t supposed to be a diatribe against you. I knew what you were like. I entered this with my eyes open. My friends thought you were cool, so I decided to see what you were all about.

A few stolen kisses, and I was lost.

And you know the saddest part? Right now, even as I speak of giving you up, all I want is to hold you, feel you against my lips and inhale that heady scent of you.

But…

I want to be a mother someday. And to be a woman means you have to think not only about yourself, but also about your unborn children. And I don’t want to raise a family with you.

I can’t take that chance. Don’t want to see the condemnation on my children’s faces for saddling you with them. Don’t want them to repeat my mistakes and fall for someone like you.

My birthday’s coming up. And that day I will give myself the greatest gift- a life without you.

I know I will never really get over you. Songs will remind me of you. Lonely nights I’ll remember that you’re only a breath away. And I'll yearn for you, for the way you used to make me feel.

And always, always….the smell of you… alluring..drawing me in.

But I WILL give you up.

And maybe, I will finally be able to breathe easy again.

DIE..

Love,

A cigarette-free Ku2.

p.s. Tried some new emoticon-y stuffs, and now I'm :p -ing up all over the place.I sooo suck at this tech stuffs. But this is an irreverent post anyway, so bring on the :p Lol, I love this. This has got to be the most unsentimental break up letter ever. HAH!

9 comments:

Lucy In The Sky said...

lol. I smoke occasionally, depending on how much whoever is around me smokes. "My Joseph" (:)I'm starting to like this) told me the other day he stopped smoking so I guess I'd stop too.
Goodluck to you!

ku2 said...

Lol @ Joseph. My Joseph (it IS kinda convenient, much better than just 'my guy')smokes too, and he swears that if I'm really serious about the quitting thing, he'll reduce and not smoke when am around. Told him that smoking kills sperms and that if he ever wants to have babies with me in future, he better quit too,Lollzzz...

Okay..now am curious... send me a pic of this Joseph of yours. You make him sound almost as good as "My Joseph", and that's impossible ;P Am beginning to think you're just making him up :P :D

thinchhia said...

haha a va tam tak ve mawle tiraw.. an nui khat tlat a lawm le hehe

Eveline said...

Parting is such sweet sorrow!
Lol - thanks for the evening laugh! Ha ha ha, you fooled me. Entertaining as usual.

ku2 said...

@Thinchhia: Lei chhuah zut2 lom :)

@Eveline: Would have been more impressive without all those :p but I guess that upped the LOL factor, dinnit?

Anonymous said...

I've been trying to quit for sometime now, but not yet wanting to, maybe I will one day, eventually. And it will not be a breakup letter, rather nothing short of an Obituary! :D

ku2 said...

@black: The pull is amazing isn't it? Hope ur obit doesnt come out before your ciggy obit does >:)

Mimihrahsel said...

hahaha.. nice one. emoticon siam dan khi ka thiam ve duh!!!

ku2 said...

Mims, go to Thinchhia blog. Ka rawn dah ve dawn a, an accept duh lau :( =(( x(
Thiam thar show :))