Thursday, May 13, 2010

what do you do?

so, how do you deal when it seems like your world is falling apart? Where do you go when it all falls to pieces? Do you get drunk, cry, distract yourself? What do you do when you know its something you have to deal with alone?

Me, I like to let it all out, turn on the angriest, most broken songs, and cry in front of my computer. Or I pretend that I'm good, put on my loudest clothes and go out with friends. Or I try to lose myself in a good book, but then, its never that easy to lose yourself, is it? And sometimes, crying just gives you a blocked nose and nothing more.

Don't get me wrong. Right now, I'm (luckily) as far away from that place as possible. Sometimes I envy those people with faith. Mine's shaky, and I do pray, and I do read my Bible. And it does give me comfort. But maybe my faith isn't strong enough cause there are so many times that I can't keep my demons at bay.

Some would call it escapism, but can we really fault anyone for running, even briefly, to escape a situation they just can't deal with? But the more you run, the bigger your fear grows. We have to face whatever sometime. So when that time comes, what do you do?

Whoa! I sound so depressed. Really, I'm not. I just read an article about suicide and I'm trying to put myself in that person's head.

I guess I'm lucky that, no matter what, I've always thought life is worth living. I can't imagine what it would feel like to wish to end it all, to be bereft of all hope that you'd want to close your book without seeing where it ends.

10 comments:

Lucy In The Sky said...

Sometimes I run as long as I can, just because :D

Tak takin, Kei pawh ka vannei a niang, thih duhna rilru ka la pu em lo a nih hi. People kill themselves for a number of reasons and no matter how lame the reasons, I don't think we could ever really know what went on in their mind.

By the way, how much do you know about the power of human mind and mind control? I mean not the kind where some dude writes stuff like, "If you think positive, you can do anything" sort of things.

ku2 said...

ooohhh, you mean like, telekinesis and psychic stuffs? i think theres still a lot to learn about the human mind, maybe we are all latent mind controllers (?) and we havnt tapped into it as yet.once stared and stared at a leaf to see if i could make it move, and i ended up blowing it away... ka nei chak top chutiang power chu, teleportation te hiii, though i think thats a lil far-fetched...

Eveline said...

I haven't had too many opportunities to face the kinds of adversity a lot of people have. Dealing with my own worries and anxiety issues were probably the hardest but even those pale in comparison to some of the hardships other people I've known endured.

I'm a big benefit-of-the-doubt glass-is-half-full kind of guy. I truly like to believe the best in people understanding that I will eventually be sorely disappointed and let down by the human race.

On a happy note to end...My life is at it's peak. And I'm damn glad to have all the things I cherish in this world and do what I love all the time.

ku2 said...

have had my dark days but clich├ęd as it sounds,i've always known that there' light at the end...

maybe ours isnt the kind of life that others would necessarily want to copy and paste over theirs, but hey, its a blessed life, right?

Lucy In The Sky said...

Not telekinesis and psychic stuffs..although I wouldn't mind having those abilities :D

No, I'm talking about self mind control. The ability to overwrite specific thoughts/feelings.
I have a theory and I've been looking for a systematic/scientific psychological studies on this subject, just for me to understand better.

ku2 said...

ohh..that kinda mind control maw? why, you wanna forget/overwrite something? just keep saying "that did not happen, that did not happen" a million times. doesnt work though, i've tried it a zillion times :((

okay, back to serious stuffs, these ninjas, shaolin monks etc can train their mind to over come pain, to feel nothing, to enable the body to run on treetops (!!. its all mind control, and i think, if we can train our mind to enter that realm, we can basically do pretty much anything.. matrix movie ang deuh khan.. but then again, im susceptible to every half-baked theory out there...
(btw, ninja hi an hmelthat hmel thei tiro?)

blackestred said...

Fortunately (or not) I haven't experienced pain in a really long time, physical, mental, emotional, etc (except for the time I had a root canal and the dentist didn't use an anesthetic. Didn't even know they were supposed to at the time.) So now, I'm kinda wondering whether I would snap when I do face my worse nightmares, or maybe the worst!
I think emotions are like Vitamins, you need a little of each daily to keep you sane enough! :P

ku2 said...

Why do toothaches hurt sooo damn much? They can make you feel weepy and wimpy and whimpery all day long..
I hope I won't be around when you snap. I'm getting a mental picture of that Stephen King dog Cujo... :D

Lucy In The Sky said...

Aw i sawi khi lawm ka tih! I was looking for some psychological references, a study maybe.
You may not believe it but it's possible. I know because I have tried it. It's like resetting your computer settings. Of course, you can't just tell yourself "it didn't happen" and make it go away. You need the "will" to change. But hell no, I don't believe in that bit about controlling the mind so you could jump off the cliff without a scratch.

"btw, ninja hi an hmelthat hmel thei tiro?"

An hmai inkhuh vang mai mai nih kha. Phaia kan rawn awm tirh ah pawh, vai bike chuang helmet dum inkhuh ho hi an chhiat loh hmel kan ti ve ziah a an han hmelchhiat theih zia chu :D

ku2 said...

hmmmm..mipa hi chu an hmel hi han hmulo phawt ila....

i want to try it too, but it scares me a bit too.. train chhung a rei dawn eeee, bakah, and me, i want to get things done NOW..But it sounds really good tiro, han tichhin zel la, keep me posted..i might try it too :D