Me, I like to let it all out, turn on the angriest, most broken songs, and cry in front of my computer. Or I pretend that I'm good, put on my loudest clothes and go out with friends. Or I try to lose myself in a good book, but then, its never that easy to lose yourself, is it? And sometimes, crying just gives you a blocked nose and nothing more.
Don't get me wrong. Right now, I'm (luckily) as far away from that place as possible. Sometimes I envy those people with faith. Mine's shaky, and I do pray, and I do read my Bible. And it does give me comfort. But maybe my faith isn't strong enough cause there are so many times that I can't keep my demons at bay.
Some would call it escapism, but can we really fault anyone for running, even briefly, to escape a situation they just can't deal with? But the more you run, the bigger your fear grows. We have to face whatever sometime. So when that time comes, what do you do?
Whoa! I sound so depressed. Really, I'm not. I just read an article about suicide and I'm trying to put myself in that person's head.
I guess I'm lucky that, no matter what, I've always thought life is worth living. I can't imagine what it would feel like to wish to end it all, to be bereft of all hope that you'd want to close your book without seeing where it ends.