friends think i've got my act together...for the uninitiated thats me in the middle of my pic flexing my muscles... im reasonably intelligent, am sometimes happy with the image in the mirror, have a great family, circle of friends and a steady boyfriend who has learnt to handle my PMS..
but i yearn, God, how i yearn...
when i was young, ok, younger, i believed that the world was my oyster and that i would become someone great.. my to-do-before-i'm 30 list includes:
1. write a bestseller.
2. be an accomplished flirt.
3. learn to drive and swim
4. learn salsa or tango
5. bungee jump n para sail.
6. backpack across India.
7. fall madly in love
8. learn to play at least one musical instrument.
9. charity, charity, charity.
aside from the obvious (get a job, give to the church, blah2) these were things i really wanted to do n which i thought defined 'living' as it were..
now i'm stuck in a rut..and these are my accomplishments:
1. bestseller...cant even write my dissertation..had to satisfy my secret Paulo Coelho urges by writing crappy comments in friend's FB posts.
2.dont know how to flirt or charm-period.
3.learnt to float n gave up on the scooty.
4.hah!!
5.double hah!! climbed a few trees..thats it.
6.i manage to get lost inside Aizawl, and i'm scared of crossing the road, so no hope there..
7. managed to do this fully, completely... :)
8.knew how to play 'd' key once...
9.am not doing my bit for charity..guilt, guilt..often tried to donate blood but always rejected cos either my weight, HB or BP was found lacking :(
i know none of these are noble or earth-shattering aims, n i'm not going to offer excuses for them.. the issue here is rather that i've accomplished very little in the way of dreams, n for a time i've given up on them.. not because i'm disillusioned or i've had some bad knocks.. my life has been, thank God, relatively free of stress n hardships.. but i've let myself fall into complacency, laziness n routines... i've lost sight of that girl who wanted to live n exult in life...
so this is a tentative foray into rediscovering that intrepid, slightly eccentric and frivolous girl who i've lost some where along the way... where I may have to be serious and conventional, she will ridicule n be politically incorrect; where i may act grown up she will play n laugh; where i have to face reality, she will keep on dreaming stubbornly; where i deal with facts, she will juggle make-believe; where i try to be stoic, she will weep n wail n laugh out loud....and finally, where i want to keep this hidden n resolve to never write again, she will try to force me to let her voice be heard, even if its among the few who know me well n would laugh n say " Lal Kuku!!"
hence, the name DOPPELGANGER - my mirror image, my darker half, my irreverent self..
11 comments:
Welcome to the blogging world where no one gives a shit what you write..NO. Im just kidding!! Nice to see that you're using your 'thesis' time to do this. I had to change my privacy settings to come and comment here. But I guess Im not disappointed at all. Hey, I just want to tell you that Blogging is actually over rated. I mean, Personally, I use it as a therapy for myself. By writing what I feel at a certain time keeps me sane some how. So, my Dear, Blog anything that you want. No body has the right to say that You should blog this stuff and that stuff. It your blog, You can do whatever you like with it. I enjoy reading this first post of yours..keep us entertained with your dry humour!! ahahahahaaa..
shit, I have a spelling mistake there in line 9. it should be "It's" instead of 'It'. Sorry, Im paranoid about wrong spellings. peace
thank u my little firecracker..like i toldja, me letting off steam :) u continue yours naaa
Gaawd and this is a good start... i have always liked ur somwhat narcissistic ramblings and never been bored!! keep it coming cheers!!
i AM self-centred, no? who'd have thot id be suffering from nerves n lack of self-confidence.. but i do, really!! n ur support really counts for a lot
LAL KUKU!! haha.. I had a good laugh reading your accomplishments, not becoz of what you have NOT accomplished (hehe), I love the way you implemented it into a nice humour (you know your good at that, and maybe one of the many good reasons your guy keeps holding on :-)). Keep it coming girlfriend!
freeing the inner girl child, eh, mims? u inspire me n maybe someday i ud merge with my doppelganger n achieve a balance of humour n 'meaningful' :))
Welcome to Blogging and as Gkhiangte puts it, it has its Therapeutic value, mentally.
I guess maybe this is what they mean by "Mid-life Crises", realizing that you're done living almost half your life and yet no closer to what you've aimed to achieve when your mind was younger, energetic, adventurous and more hopeful.
Age kills us all!
^therapeutic definitely... and yes, m starting to think aging gracefully is an oxymoron
"to-do-before-i'm 30"
If you have turned 30, keep them on your "Bucket list" and spend a life time accomplishing them. That will make it an adventure...well..sorta :D
not yet 30, but m a procrastinator, so guess it will definitely go in my 'bucket list,
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