anti-america

I hate that they think they are the great white hope. They save the world in movies but in reality, they muck up the planet and conjure up mythical nuclear weapons just to control oil countries. I hate that they think they are the smartest race when really, most of their technology comes from imported brains. Many of the Americans are actually people who buy electronic products and are unable to figure out why it doesn’t work until an Indian dude from a BPO asks him in his fake American accent, “Sir, have you switched it on?” And American guy says, “Oh, I have to switch it on? By myself!!??”

Face it, a lot of them are NOT smarter than a fifth grader. Which is why they invented simplified spellings like color, humor, program etc for colour, humour, programme. Okay, I sometimes use these simplified spellings too. But I absolutely refuse to acknowledge SOCCER, EYE-raq and EYE-ran.

My aunt, who’s lived there for 30 or so years, is insistent that I MUST not get married until I have visited her. She has my best interests at heart and I know she hopes that I would go there and marry a sensitive, broad-minded, new age-y all-American boy. It sounds good in theory but… suppose I’m ranting and raving over a bad case of PMS, and a guy says, “There, there, darling, let it all out, oh, I truly feel you. I’ll order another batch of ice cream for you. Let it out, darling, here, let me hold you… OUCH! Darling, please don’t bite… Honey, why are you aiming that fork at my face..?” I don’t think I can respect that dude. I prefer the one who can make me regain control over myself with just the words, “Mmm, a tawk”. *swoon*.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not against inter-racial marriages. I’m a die-hard romantic who believes that love surpasses and conquers all. But personally, I still prefer a vawksa rep-loving, bekang-eating, hmeichhe-care-thiamlo-ing Mizo guy who calls me “bawih” and maybe, later, “nu-i”. Bye bye, American boy :D

Anyway, here’s hoping that some Americano does not come across this and decides to Blackwater me to kingdom come. AAARRGH! Blackwater!!!!