A Lil' Tough Love Please

I sincerely hope this Jesse James- Tiger Woods sex addiction thing never catches on. In my very humble opinion, I think we all seriously need to practice some tough love. When you attribute every behavioral lapse to a psychological hiccup, its like your'e denying responsibility for your actions.

I'm no psychologist but couching their cheating womanising ways in psychobabble and then going to rehab for it sounds so lame to me. Maybe they do have psychological issues, related to thrill-seeking, lack of guilt, lack of remorse over hurting someone who loves them, blah blah, and they should work on those problems. But the message these cheating Hollywood a-holes are sending out is, "Don't blame me, pity me instead because my Id forced me".

Okay, I might sound unsympathetic. I'm not. I just take exception to the fact that so many issues are boiled down to psychological problems.

They say obesity is a disease. And I agree that certain types of sickness do cause huge weight gain. But for a majority of obese people, if they would just shift their asses from in front of the TV, and walk even a few miles everyday, and cut down on the junk food, then they would not become so fat. And for the people who eat out of depression or stress, their depression is the psychological issue here. The eating, I believe, is just a symptom of a deeper problem, and not the problem itself.

They say addiction is a disease. But when they treat the addict as a sick person, I fear that he/ she would think that rehabilitation is possible only with outside help. Addicts need to contribute to their own recovery, and by being too sympathetic, you stand the chance of making them lose their belief in their own capabilities of self-control and discipline. I agree we should be supportive, but its more important not to mollycoddle them.

Now the latest disease is sex addiction. Maybe I'm an unimaginative ignoramus, but, it sounds like so much bull to me. If you really crave sex that much, jump your wife every chance you get. Spike her drinks and food with aphrodisiacs, create weird, exciting scenarios if that turns you on, and stay away from temptation. But if sex with a variety of partners is your pleasure, you are not a sex addict. You are promiscuous. Accept that, and work on that.

Now, I believe that pedophiles, rapists, and the like do have sexually-related psychological problems. But I also believe that unless you are certifiably insane, you do have self-control and the ability to judge whether what you are doing is harmful or not. And to willfully disregard that and abuse a CHILD, or any unwilling person for that matter, is unpardonable.

In U.S and British prisons, child rapists and pedophiles are segregated. Prisoners, no matter how hardened, retain their belief that innocent children should be protected. Which is why pedophiles are often beaten up, raped or even murdered in prisons, thus the need to keep them segregated for their own protection. Call me cruel and Unchristian, but I sometimes wish a pedophile would be gang-raped by a group of brutal, diseased men, if only to feel some of the trauma that they themselves have inflicted on innocent children. So sue me.

I agree that there is still a lot to learn about the human psyche. But reducing every lapse of behavior to a nice set of psychological terminology makes you deny accountability for your actions. Life is hard, yes, and trials and tribulations are many. Some people seem to have more than their fair share of hardships. But ultimately, we are responsible for our own actions, despite whatever baggage we carry.

Which is why, easy as it is to attribute my angsty behavior to my "quarter life crisis", I decided to be responsible for my actions. I am a victim only if I choose to be.

Love yourself. But make sure that tough love is included in the equation. Accept responsibility for your own actions. If you choose to let your Id and Superego and your desires dictate all of your behavior and let go of your control over your own actions, then prepare to be labelled a psychological basket case. For what differentiates humans from animals is not just our intelligence, but our ability to control and modify our own behavior, and to differentiate between right and wrong.

So if you want to call your self a sex-addict, do so. Just dont expect me or most people to vouch for your credibility.