I was rummaging through my old diaries last night when I came across this entry from 14th Feb, 2002, which got me thinking all over again. This was when I was in Hostel in Shillong, during my Higher Secondary school years, and we could get day-outs only once or twice a month, and those day outs consisted of window shopping, pigging out and looong chat sessions on Mirc and Yahoo chat. Here's the slightly edited entry from that Valentine's Day, 2002.
"Its V-day! No Valentine but we went out and oohhh, its sooo great to be young, carefree, passably attractive and healthy.
The warden told us to buy toilet cleaning brushes, and there we were, me and Kevi, all dolled up and dragging toilet brushes around PB! Still received catcalls from creepy roadside Bahs, we acted prissy but giggled when they were out of earshot.
Went online, chatted to a lotta people, C_ from Kulikawn being one of them. She asked me if I ever had feelings of insecurity when we were in High School. She updated me on some of our old classmates and mentioned that A_ who had been teased by the boys because she was such a tomboy had become a huge flirt, ck-ing with any guy who asks. She wondered if low self esteem was responsible for that.
I had a wonderful time in high school and Ive never felt unpopular. I knew I was popular, the Princy called me by my nickname, teachers teased me on my crushes, kids from lower classes knew me, and I was with the hip crowd. Mahse the pressure was there- would a crush like my friend instead, am I up to date on 'cool' music and things like that, is a friend saying mean things behind my back, etc. Mahse Ive never felt really left out.
But what makes me guilty is that we sometimes call some people "Mi nep"- the kind of people who are wallflowers, who dont talk much, and who are not very with it. And we used to laugh at them secretly, pretend to have crushes on them if the Mi nep was a guy, and laugh at him when he responds. We just overlook the quiet ones, and make fun of the ones who try and fail to fit in.
T_ and N_ (hostel mates) said that they felt like Mi neps in high school. I never thought they were, but, if they felt that way, I wonder what the people that we considered real Mi neps would feel. High school was such an important time and the things that happened there could really affect you later. I think I too would have hurt other people's feelings. Though I have never pretended to like a guy just to make fun of him, I laughed along with my friends when they do it.
Maybe retribution will happen to me and Ill deserve it. Mahse I hope I will be mature and humane enough to never again judge people on the basis of their wealth, social status and their looks. And that I will never refer to anyone as a Mi nep ever again".
I know, I was a right lil bitch in high school :( I'm sorry :(((((
"Its V-day! No Valentine but we went out and oohhh, its sooo great to be young, carefree, passably attractive and healthy.
The warden told us to buy toilet cleaning brushes, and there we were, me and Kevi, all dolled up and dragging toilet brushes around PB! Still received catcalls from creepy roadside Bahs, we acted prissy but giggled when they were out of earshot.
Went online, chatted to a lotta people, C_ from Kulikawn being one of them. She asked me if I ever had feelings of insecurity when we were in High School. She updated me on some of our old classmates and mentioned that A_ who had been teased by the boys because she was such a tomboy had become a huge flirt, ck-ing with any guy who asks. She wondered if low self esteem was responsible for that.
I had a wonderful time in high school and Ive never felt unpopular. I knew I was popular, the Princy called me by my nickname, teachers teased me on my crushes, kids from lower classes knew me, and I was with the hip crowd. Mahse the pressure was there- would a crush like my friend instead, am I up to date on 'cool' music and things like that, is a friend saying mean things behind my back, etc. Mahse Ive never felt really left out.
But what makes me guilty is that we sometimes call some people "Mi nep"- the kind of people who are wallflowers, who dont talk much, and who are not very with it. And we used to laugh at them secretly, pretend to have crushes on them if the Mi nep was a guy, and laugh at him when he responds. We just overlook the quiet ones, and make fun of the ones who try and fail to fit in.
T_ and N_ (hostel mates) said that they felt like Mi neps in high school. I never thought they were, but, if they felt that way, I wonder what the people that we considered real Mi neps would feel. High school was such an important time and the things that happened there could really affect you later. I think I too would have hurt other people's feelings. Though I have never pretended to like a guy just to make fun of him, I laughed along with my friends when they do it.
Maybe retribution will happen to me and Ill deserve it. Mahse I hope I will be mature and humane enough to never again judge people on the basis of their wealth, social status and their looks. And that I will never refer to anyone as a Mi nep ever again".
I know, I was a right lil bitch in high school :( I'm sorry :(((((
7 comments:
Never heard of Mi nep lol. I was never popular in high school, especially among the boys haha. I was busy selling burchhia while the girls were dating.
For some reason I never look through my old diaries. I think I should burn them.
I lo dam qui qui em?
hey! Lal Lucy! KHawnge i awm bo char char aaaa. Pasal neih nuam ti hlee mai, bleh. Ka dam, nang zawk? I blog a bo! I didnt date in high school either, I was the Puar ak for my friends:D
Diary hlui chhiar hi nuamve reuh asin, ziah leh tran toh tur ani, nakina in nuihsawh nan tal :D
Dont burn yours, recycle them!
Ka inla pasal nei vel char char aaaaa hahahaha. Hei tunah lam ang ka lo let e.
Ka blog ve te kha a riang em a, ka dah bo ta law law a nih kha, a fahrah em mai :D Ka update chuang bawk si lova.
Mail ka rawn thawn ang che, hman veleh. Thil sawi tur a awm. Boss vacation a la ka buai thei lutuk, lu leh mawng pawh ka hre hrang lo, nitin ka OT.
Dayum you mean girl you! I think high-schoolers are the meanest group of people everywhere in the world. I don't know why but I think it's true, especially of girls. Our whole view of the world was warped, and all the wrong things mattered sooo much. I don't think I was ever a 'Mi nep' but I was never a member of the popular gangs. I never felt like I wanted to be a part of those groups either, due to serious dislike for most of them. (Mean in my own way see?).
So I seriously don't know why people miss those 'high school days' 'teenaged years.' I for one am quite happy to be old :D, with age & experience-brought confidence, pimple free, paying my own bills, and popular "where and among whom it really matters" :)
And this is why everyone should write and keep journals. I think a lot of my more important lessons I learn from reading my own diary.
Bah Ku2, remember the dream that you mentioned earlier on your post? Bestseller? Tell you what, let your Diary published.. it will make a good market :-P
Thiahsuk!! :-)
But in your life you'll do things greater than dating the boy on the football team
But I didn't know it at fifteen- Taylor Swift
I was one of the mi neps and look where it gets me :)
@Lucy: Send mail now!!
@Jeru: Niaa, in high school we tend to take things to extremes, teen angst and all.I miss high school, though :D, not bcos i was "in" or anything, but because it really was fun :)
@Alej:Too personal. Ka ngamlo!
@Awitwi: Hi! Thanks for droppin in, and yes, taylor's 'fifteen' does sum it up rather well :)
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