Do you find yourself dreading these moments of darkness when those doubts start crawling into your head? When you can't control your thoughts and he finds his way into them once again?
During the day your head is clear. You know that your time together has passed and there is no going back. You go to work, you meet your friends, you talk, you laugh, you go for aimless rides under the sun, you try out a new eatery. Your life is not as empty as you thought it would be without him and the fact no longer surprises you.
But at night, old ghosts come out and they play wildly inside your head. And that's okay. There always will be unfinished business and unspoken recriminations. Maybe you've suppressed your pain, your sense of loss and the inevitable rage that comes with this. And sometimes you might 'pedestalise' him and what you had, and that could lead to bitter regret. It's okay girl. You're doing fine.
You've let him go, physically and emotionally. But its natural that his ghost would still linger in your subconscious mind. And people may say that means something, and they would be right. Everyone we meet, those that we've loved or hated, plus the books we've read, the music we listen to, the experiences that we've had, they've all helped to shape you into who you are now and so they linger. As he does. Sometimes.
So it's okay. Let him have the occasional moments at night. You can't exorcise those ghosts by sprinkling them with holy water and shouting, "The power of Christ compels you!" Or maybe you can. Either way, you have your whole life ahead of you, both the days and the nights. And a time will come when you no longer fear those ghosts because you know they cannot hurt you anymore.
Have a good sleep.
And music, always.
Slipknot- Vermilion 2.
During the day your head is clear. You know that your time together has passed and there is no going back. You go to work, you meet your friends, you talk, you laugh, you go for aimless rides under the sun, you try out a new eatery. Your life is not as empty as you thought it would be without him and the fact no longer surprises you.
But at night, old ghosts come out and they play wildly inside your head. And that's okay. There always will be unfinished business and unspoken recriminations. Maybe you've suppressed your pain, your sense of loss and the inevitable rage that comes with this. And sometimes you might 'pedestalise' him and what you had, and that could lead to bitter regret. It's okay girl. You're doing fine.
You've let him go, physically and emotionally. But its natural that his ghost would still linger in your subconscious mind. And people may say that means something, and they would be right. Everyone we meet, those that we've loved or hated, plus the books we've read, the music we listen to, the experiences that we've had, they've all helped to shape you into who you are now and so they linger. As he does. Sometimes.
So it's okay. Let him have the occasional moments at night. You can't exorcise those ghosts by sprinkling them with holy water and shouting, "The power of Christ compels you!" Or maybe you can. Either way, you have your whole life ahead of you, both the days and the nights. And a time will come when you no longer fear those ghosts because you know they cannot hurt you anymore.
Have a good sleep.
And music, always.
Slipknot- Vermilion 2.
8 comments:
O those Slipknot lullabies, aren't they a treasure!
Dat slipknot! <3
And yes, I have been through what you're going through, and ranting it all out on my blog helps me a lot. The ghosts will soon fade within time, dontcha worry about it.
When i was going through what u r going through a Bible passage always popped up in my mind "This too shall pass". I'm not a very Godly person per say but this line really comforted me and gave me hope. So to you I say "This too shall pass" if not u can keep ranting like Kima
:-)
beautifully and poignantly written. sorry for what you are going through but it makes for a great read and almost makes me sad that this too shall pass... NOI :)
Thanks all, guys, and yes, Corey Taylor <3 !!!
@roulngulworld: Haha, none taken :D
Fact or fiction,nicely put.
The Ghosts we feared as kids, have now become Uncertainty for Adults, still giving us sleepless nights sometimes. And if "..a time will come when you no longer fear those ghosts because you know they cannot hurt you anymore." let me sleep so that I sleep an endless slumber.
huiss. ka lung i ti leng thut ringot.
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