Day 1 in Purgatory

Started the GM Diet Plan from today. I feel awful.

I've been gaining weight steadily since last year, and I've been constantly subjected to the cute Mizo custom of having people commenting on your weight by way of greeting- "Uiii, I va thau em em!! (You are so faaat)" "Thanks, a very i va thau em em to you too!"

My body usually responds well to bursts of activity, so a week of light exercise would usually get me back in shape. But not this time. Strenuous morning walks, skipping and light aerobics and I'm still steadily gaining weight. Its gotten to a point where people now eschew the "I va thau ve" greeting and instead, poke me gingerly in the gut and whisper quietly with sad eyes, "Kuku, tinge (why)?"

Decided that the problem lay with my diet so I thought about my daily food intake, and I realised I have been taking in gargantuan amounts of food. Hence the GM Diet. For those reading and too lazy to follow the link up there or too third-world -countryish to have a fast internet connection, its a 7-day diet plan consisting of eating as much raw fruits and veggies as you want plus the occasional side of beef. It also dehydrates you, so 10 glasses of water a day is a must. Also, the first 3 days, you get awful cravings and weakness. But if  followed correctly, the diet makes you lose at least 10 pounds a week and flushes your system of bad toxins or something. I'm usually skeptical about diet plans but two friends have followed this one with positive results, so here goes. Im getting desperate.

I've read that it's good to tell people if you're on a diet because you're less tempted to cheat; hence the reason I'm putting this up.

So, Day 1!! 

Just fruits, minus bananas. 

I FEEL AWFUL! I never knew I'd crave fluffy white, boiled rice this much! After this week, I will never eat fruits again! I long for rice smothered in dal and butter and chased down with deep fried potatoes and the spiciest chilli. 

It grew especially bad around 230 when I usually have a packet of wai-wai or spicy chips. I became so sad that it being a holiday, I took a tiny nap. Hunger does strange things to your mind. 

I dreamt I lived in an architecturally unsound house but with interesting corners and nooks and occupants. I discovered a jacuzzi in the basement and a tiny, gay, sadistic personal trainer who lived quietly all alone there. He barked that I'd have to do two rounds of exercise with him to use the jacuzzi. Then he told me to bathe first before exercising, and he became hugely affronted when I put on the same jacket after bathing. I vaguely remember him muttering something about why I bothered to even wash myself if I wasgoing to put on dirty clothes..

And then he prepped himself for the exercises by squatting and stretching and he wore super-tight leotards and that's when I woke up.

I hate apples. I shall never eat them again after next week. Watermelons are okay. I shall probably eat them again next year. Papayas are evil.

I've drunk around 8 and a half glasses of water. The number of bathroom trips  Im taking is frankly becoming ridiculous. 

My sadistic mom wants to start preparing dinner. I think I'm going to find out how that Edward Cullen feels being constantly around Bella, his 'personal brand of heroin'. 

It's going to be one long week. This thing better work...