The helpless act

At first, it wasn't an act with me. Dad's always been really overprotective of his five daughters, and we were pretty sheltered. And when we entered the real world, we were really clueless and helpless, 'specially me, whose head has always been more in the clouds than the others'.

I noticed the 'potency' of that helplessness the first time I went to a bank. This was three years ago. I felt really apprehensive since I knew zilch about what goes on in banks. I decided the best way was to ask, so I approached this clerk. At first, he was really impatient, but when he glanced at me, he got this tender look on his face. It was drizzling that day, and I never carry umbrellas with me, so I was wet, timid looking, and to top it all off, that day I was wearing my frilliest pink flowered dress.

Long story short, I suppose I looked like the quintessential damsel in distress, because he did everything for me, filling out forms, and the whole rigmarole, all with a tender smile. Ugh! I learnt later that had I done things in the customary way, I would have spent at least two hours waiting in line. At first it felt good. I tried it consciously the next time, and it worked- again! Easy, effortless. The only snag- I didn't learn anything.

Well past the age of looking prettily helpless, I've tried to fend for myself, but the backlash from my previous acts have taken their toll, and I've barely learnt how to cope. Now I'm just a ditzy female.

BFF Jamie and I have also done the helpless act countless times on traffic officials who were given demure, contrite smiles and offered kuhva, who invariably fall for the act.

There's something about girls on scooters that makes some men go "Awww" and "Oh baby" simultaneously. They are prepared to overlook traffic violations and mishaps. So much so that in recent months, there has been an outbreak of girls who barely know how to drive, let alone know traffic rules, causing minor accidents, jams and general aggravation. That's the potency of the 'weaker sex'.

And before the men smirk smugly about the duplicity of women, let me tell ya, they do it too. Many's the time I've had to clean my cousins' rooms when their places start to look and smell like pigstys. "I...I just don't know where to start... Will you help? You point and I'll do the cleaning", they'll say.

Of course, it doesn't happen like that. They'll make complete messes out of the mess, and I'll have to do the work myself. And they'll stand in a corner, putting on their most awed look, and say, "Wow, I don't know how you girls do it, and so quickly too". And I know its all an act, but I'll still feel smugly superior anyway.

I don't know if you other girls fall for their act too, or I'm just a big sucker, because I've often found myself as cleaner, suitcase packer, tea-maker, pimp, and breaking-up-er etc for my cuzs.

Anyway, what am trying to say is, the helpless act may work, its easy and fun sometimes. But the more you do it, the more the 'act' becomes real, and you end up really becoming helpless. It should be used only when you can't get what you want any other way, heheh.

Which is why I'm here, braving the elements, on my quest for knowledge- broke, tired, cold and hungry. The hunger gnaws at my insides,and the cold chills my bones, but I'll fight on. Sometimes I think wistfully of chocolates and pastries, but they're all just dreams... So I walk on, dreaming of the kindness of strangers, of angels of mercy, who might decide to send me boxes of chocolate....